Utah, Part One: BYU

My little brother Greg got married a few weeks ago in Utah, so we made the trip out there to celebrate this special occasion.  We had a fabulous trip.  It was packed with lots of fun things to do.  Having a lot of fun is really exhausting though.  We were so tired by the end of each day and fell asleep the moment our heads hit the pillow at night.  We went out to Utah a few days early so we could do some special things while we were there.  BYU was our first stop.  Josh and I both graduated from there and have a deep love for that school.  It was so fun to go back and show our kids where we made some of the best memories of our lives.  BYU is where we fell in love, got married, and where we had our first child.  It will always be a special place for us. 

Our first stop was at Timpanogos Hospital.  This is where Anna was born.  She loved seeing it.

 We then headed over to BYU to show our kids around campus.  We took the kids to the bookstore and let them pick out something to take home.  Being in there brought back so many wonderful memories.

 We showed the kids the library and where Daddy used to try to flirt with Mommy.  It worked, hence the four kids later....

 Andrew wasn't as into this but still looked cute.

 Daniel bought a new hat and football from the bookstore.  He was killing me with cuteness.  He thought he was such a big boy with his "hat like Daddy."

 Anna also got a hat and a BYU bear which she named, "Sparkle."

 Jenna was in heaven playing around the Wilk.  She's a true cougar.

 Enjoying lunch.  Our kids could take this same picture together in about 15 years.

 Andrew also got a hat and a BYU football.  It took all he had in him to not throw that ball all over the place.

 She's just sweet.  That's all.

 This was one of the most fun memories we had while we were there.  After lunch, I wanted to show the kids the ballroom.  No one was in there so we grabbed our footballs and played tag.  We ran and danced and laughed.  It was so simple but we had so much fun.

 Daddy dipping his daughter.  We were in a ballroom after all.

 That hat on that little body.  Soooo cute!

 It was the most beautiful day.  We went outside and played catch with the football under a perfectly blue sky and nice weather.  I loved showing the kids the "Y" on the mountain.  The thought it was really cool.

 My new favorite family picture.

 Playing catch with Dad.

 Anna took this.  I love it.  ;-)

 We fell in love here.  I love thinking about how far we've come in just a short amount of time.  I'm so glad I left BYU with Josh.  He's the best.

 Oh, I could just eat her up.

 We took the kids to Creamery on Ninth for a little afternoon ice-cream snack.  They loved it!

 We also went and saw the stadium.  Andrew really wanted to see where the cougars play football.  He's bound and determined to become a BYU football player one day.

 Andrew was so happy to see the real field.  We stayed there for a while and he was just in awe the whole time.

 The next day we took the kids to hike the "Y".  It was a pretty steep hike up the mountain.  We were pretty skeptical of how the kids were going to do.  Daniel surprised us the most.  He ran almost the whole thing.  After about ten minutes of hiking, the older two were saying things like, "I'm sooooo tired," and "I can't walk another inch."  I didn't know if we would make it all the way to the top or not.

 We used the opportunity to talk to our kids about how we have to stay far away from the edge to be safe.  We related it to keeping the commandments of God.  We have to stay far away from temptation so we don't get spiritually hurt.

 We did it!  I didn't bring appropriate shoes and walked up in flip flops.  Not the best idea.

 Josh carried Jenna the whole way up, and I carried her the whole way down.  She fell asleep on the way down.  It felt so good to snuggle her in my arms for so long.

 Here are the boys sitting on the actual "Y".  It was really steep and made me nervous.  I loved watching them do it though.

 Let me say this, we slept really, really well that night.  I'm so glad we got to do all of these fun things with our little babies.  It was something I will never forget.

Happy Birthday Daniel Joshua Lee

Daniel turned three years old on October 10th.  However, we were on vacation in Utah at the time so we celebrated a few days early.  Daniel is a really hilarious kid.  He almost always refers to himself as "Daniel Joshua Lee".  In fact, as I am writing this post, he is sitting next to me squealing with delight and saying, "Hey, that's Daniel Joshua Lee!!"  Daniel loves to call Josh and me his buddies.  He's also a really good helper and is always right by my side helping me cook dinner.  Even if he's watching a movie or playing a really fun game, he will stop what he's doing if he hears the pots and pans moving around.  He comes up and asks, "you cooking dinner Mom?"  I love it.  He is also my yard work helper.  He loves helping me cut the grass and always stays with me to the bitter end, helping me put grass clippings in trash bags.  I hope this great work ethic stays with him for the rest of his life.
Daniel has a big comedic side to him.  Every time he takes a bite, doesn't matter the circumstance, he makes a sound effect to be sure you know he's eating.  He loves to dance and has some pretty sweet moves.  Daniel is also the most stubborn, strong willed three year old ever.  He often tells me, "I don't have no legs," or "I can't walk" or "I don't have no hands".  All of this to get out of whatever he doesn't want to do.  He can also throw a tantrum with the best of them.  It's awesome....
We had a great day celebrating this little man.  He LOVED that it was his birthday!  He totally ate it all up and loved being the center of attention.  We started out with a special breakfast and birthday candles.

 We let him open one present in the morning, which was a Thomas the Train piggy bank.  Daniel is really into holding pennies in his hand.  He often has a bulging handful of money that he carries around.  Every time he drops them, which is OFTEN, he cries and gets really upset.  Hence, the piggy bank.  Really this was a selfish gift I gave him because I didn't want him to keep crying about dropping money. Win-Win!

 I know I'm his mom, but I think he's adorable!

 He really melts my heart.  I'm so glad he's mine.

 The other day he was saying "cooky cock" and I repeated it back to him.  He then turns to scold me and says, "Mom, we don't say that.  That's a bad choice.  You made a bad choice!"  Haha!

 We went out to Texas Roadhouse that night and had such a fun time.  Daniel danced on the booth and was just as happy as could be.

 The lighting was terrible in there, and I have no flash.  I'm still glad we got some though.

 Daniel really loves dinosaurs and was so excited to see this big fellow.

 His face kills me.

 I know this is terribly dark but Daniel got to ride on a saddle while all of the employees sang to him.  He was super shy about it but was completely in heaven.  All of the kids thought it was the coolest thing!

 Daniel really has a sweet heart.  Here he is sharing his birthday ice-cream with his big brother.  Adorable.  We feel so blessed to have this sweet little man with us.  He's the best Daniel Joshua Lee around!

Temporal Lobe Epilepsy

It amazes me how with one small moment of time, your life can be turned upside down.  Everything can be sunshine and roses and in an instant, you can know that nothing will ever be the same.  At least, those were the thoughts that were going through my head as Josh sat in our bedroom and told me he had had a seizure the night before.  All is well and under control now but every possible bad thought of what could happen went through my head as I learned that my sweetheart, the love of my life, may not be okay.  


Here's the story. 

Josh was away at a conference in Gainesville, FL a few weeks ago to present a paper.  That night he shared a room with another professor named Spencer, who is also in our ward here in Tallahassee.  Spencer said that at about 4:00 in the morning, he woke up to a loud noise that Josh made.  He quickly flipped on the light to see what was going on and saw Josh's body shaking.  Spencer, at the time, didn't really know what was going on and tried to yell Josh's name to wake him up.  He said that he couldn't wake him, and it looked like Josh was in a lot of pain.  He was foaming at the mouth a little and the whole episode lasted about a minute.  We now know it was a seizure.  

When Josh woke up in the morning, he went into the bathroom to take a shower, unaware of what had happened during the night.  When he came out, Spencer woke up and asked him if he was okay.  They then saw blood all over Josh's pillow that came as a result of him biting his cheeks so hard during the seizure that it left big bite marks on the inside of both of his cheeks.  

Josh spent the rest of the day having, what we like to call, "aftershocks" from the seizure.  He would feel okay and then suddenly have a little 30-60 second episode of horrible nausea and dizziness that would go throughout his whole body.  Josh got home from his trip around 2:30 and as soon as he walked in the door, I knew something was wrong.  I immediately asked him if he was sick or tired.  (Josh didn't want me to worry while he was away and waited to tell me about all of this when he returned home).  He kept having these aftershock symptoms about every 45 minutes-1.5 hours for most of the day.  He was also super tired all day and spent most of the day asleep on the couch.  All of the muscles in is whole body were incredibly sore for the next week.  I guess seizures cause all of the muscles in your body to tighten up, hence him being sore.  Josh kept describing it like his muscles felt like he had just run two marathons. 

Luckily, my parents were coming into town anyways for the weekend and my dad was able to give Josh a blessing. We called Josh's doctor and they couldn't see him until Thursday. We got so worried though and needed some peace of mind. There is quite a family history of tumors or other illness in his family, and at the time, all I could think of was the worst.  We decided that he should go into the ER so they could take a CT scan. While he was there, they also did an EKG of his heart along with a chest x-ray. All three tests came back clear. We were so relieved. With that being said though, the doctors at the ER said that they only look for big things and a neurologist needs to take a more in depth look.

We saw a neurologist the following week and told him everything that happened. He was very thorough, and we felt like he really listened to our concerns and answered our questions well. We told him about the seizure itself and about all of the "aftershocks," (called auras), that happened throughout the day following. Josh had also been having these auras back in June, but we didn't know what they were at the time. He seemed to be quite surprised that Josh was having as many auras as we described and said that due to the number of auras and the type of seizure, it is much more likely than not that he will have another seizure. We were both surprised to hear him say this as we thought that having these auras was relatively normal after a seizure. Auras are described as small, localized seizures in the temporal lobe of your brain.

The doctor proceeded to tell us that Josh needs to be medicated. He has started an anti-seizure medication. It's something he had to work up to before taking a full dosage. For the first week, he took one pill, the second week he took two and by week three he took three pills, which is a full dosage.  The medication has not caused him any major side effects yet, which we are thrilled about.  Josh isn't supposed to drive for the first six months after having a seizure.  While we were at the neurologist, Josh had an EEG done to measure the brain's electrical activity. He also just had an MRI done to give us a better understanding as to what is causing all of this. 

We just got back from a big trip to Utah.  While we were there, we talked to one of our good friends who just happens to be a neurologist and specializes in epilepsy.  We told him everything that happened and asked him a bunch of questions.  His name is Blake and is an incredibly smart, nice guy.  We also told him that Josh sometimes has memory problems.  Every now and then he has a hard time remembering small, insignificant things.  The neurologist asked him what he had for dinner the night before.  He was able to get to the memory but it took him several steps.  "Okay.  Today is Monday, so yesterday was Sunday.  We had dinner with the Carrs.  There was a crockpot.  Roast!"  It's a process.  Blake said that should get better with time.  We have lots of examples like that and sometimes he truly can't remember whatever it is I'm asking him about.  He said it's super weird knowing that you should remember something and there's just nothing there.  

Blake felt very confident that Josh has temporal lobe epilepsy.  He said he will have to be medicated for the rest of his life.  Even though epilepsy isn't something to ever desire to have, we felt so much better after talking to him.  We don't know the results of the MRI yet but he said he would "bet the farm" that it isn't a tumor causing this.  The more we think about it, the better we feel about it.  Yes, Josh has epilepsy.  Yes, he will have to take pills for the rest of his life.  However, the medication is doing it's job, and Josh is tolerating it wonderfully.  We can handle taking some pills for the rest of our lives.  Handling a brain tumor would be a much worse scenario.  

We have been incredibly blessed by good friends and family who have been praying for us, babysitting our kids, texting us to check in, and being there with us through all of this.  Josh has been feeling really well lately.  He may be a bit more tired than usual but that may just be because we've been incredibly busy.  We will find out results from the MRI soon, but we are expecting it to be clear.  Having epilepsy in today's age is really hopeful for leading a totally normal life.  There is great medication and good doctors that will take care of my sweetheart.  I couldn't ask for anything more.  We will keep everyone posted if we learn of anything else.  In the meantime, we would really appreciate prayers in his behalf.  We love you all.

Jenna's First Birthday

It's hard to describe how a mother truly loves her child.  Words don't seem to suffice.  Love is pure and deep and everlasting when you have a child.  No mistake or poor attitude can make you love your child any less.  No matter how often my children mess up or how mean they are to me or anything of the sort, one thing will always be constant and that is my love for them. 

When our little Jenna Marie was born, I was overwhelmed by the experience.  It was a hard delivery and completely unanticipated.  I remember when she came out and they took her away, all I could think of was how happy I was that it was over and the pain was gone.  I quickly bonded with her and it's been nothing but love since.  Jenna truly has a special spirit.  Our family needed her.  She brings a calmness to the chaos.  Before I had her, we used to joke that none of our kids would be mellow.  Josh and I are both strong willed, sometimes stubborn people (OK, always), so we knew our kids never stood a chance at being calm.  However, Jenna is just that.  She has the sweetest spirit about her.  She can just sit on my lap all day and be as content as could be.  By this age, Andrew was running circles around me and climbing up the walls.
Jenna is quick to smile.  She rarely cries.  She'll sleep anywhere and doesn't require entertainment to keep her happy.  With that being said, we are constantly playing peek-a-boo, singing songs to her, and asking her to wave to us.  She eats it up too.  She loves clapping for herself when she's proud of what she's done.  She's recently started brushing her own hair and likes to put on Anna's headbands by herself.  This girl has melted our hearts.  I would suffer every ounce of that pain again right this minute if it meant she could always be mine.  I truly and deeply love this child and all of her goodness.  It has been the best year of my life taking care of her.  Happy Birthday sweet Jenna.

Look how's she's grown.

I always feel nostalgic on birthdays.  I love thinking back to all the events and excitement leading up to their births.  I hate the pain of labor but I love the joy and anticipation that comes with it.  It truly is the best time of life.  We spent the day playing together, looking at old pictures from when she was born, reading her birth story again, and watching some home movies of the day she was born.  It was a great day to celebrate a great little girl.  

We found some old toys in the attic and wrapped them up for her.  She loved it.  We also bought her a few new outfits, and the big kids loved helping her open them.

I love the sequence of these next three pictures.  Watch her facial expression.

Hahaha!  "That was funny Dad."

I wanted to get some cake smashing photos of little Jenna but I forgot that she's a "lady" and doesn't like to get her hands dirty.  Pardon me.

We tried forcing her hands in it and she looked confused and then crawled away.  Ha!

It was a wonderful day and she's a perfect daughter.  We're totally smitten!